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Behind closed doors: Secret societies offer respite to Chennai's Gen Z

Gen Z lives in a strange in-between too young to fully fit into the citys traditional social circles, yet too old for the predictable caf hangouts and mall meet-ups that defined their teenage years. Their social life is scattered across group chats, half-made plans, and digital friendships that rarely translate offline. But now, quietly and almost organically, they are carving out something new: secret and exclusive social spaces where meeting people doesnt feel accidental, awkward, or overwhelming, but intentional and comforting. These are round-the-clock, invite-only micro-communities created by those who believe that connection needs curation, not chaos. One such community is Secret Affairs, the brainchild of artist Ganesh Selvaraj, aka BRWN. He decided to create a closed-circle social experience after noticing the disconnect in mainstream gatherings. I wanted to build a community where people feel a sense of social well-being. Something inclusive for the people inside, but exclusive for the people outside, he says. What began as a small circle of friends soon turned into a 1,000-strong network built on referrals, applications and approvals. Invite-only is what makes it exclusive. We choose who can attend the party, he says. New entrants fill out a form, link their Instagram profiles and wait for a screening process that checks for alignment in ideology. This approach is exactly what appeals to the party crowd. Gen Z doesnt want to just party; they want an experience. Secret Affairs Themed fun Experiences are at the heart of Secret Affairs. Every event is themed and designed to transform everyday spots into immersive settings, not just another club night. Their recent One Night in New York turned a restobar into a space complete with R&B, hip-hop and mood lighting replicating NYC. For a city still growing into non-traditional forms of socialising, this shift feels refreshing. Chennai has people who want to party, but theyre not coming out because there arent good scenes or curated experiences, he claims. Regular attendees have felt the difference. Srinithi Natarajan, a psychologist and author, has been to all Secret Affairs events. I loved the small detailing like colour bands where yellow meant youre open to socialising, she says. She also appreciates how familiar spaces feel transformed and for her, the chance to actually converse at an event is rare and valuable. For Shivani Rajiv, a social media executive, the exclusivity itself created a sense of comfort. The term invite-only got me excited because I knew the crowd was going to be a cream crowd, she says. The New York-themed night left a deep impression. It didnt feel like a typical public event. It felt warm, community-friendly and everyone brought their own vibe. Having moved to Chennai from Hyderabad, she says the experience gave her a sense of belonging in the city and felt that she has stepped into the right place for the right reasons. Be yourself While Secret Affairs builds curated energy through themed settings and selective entry, another space in the city takes a quieter approach.Chennai's Secret Strangers Club, founded by Razik Farid, focuses on intimate conversations, slow-paced bonding and judgement-free comfort. The idea sprouted from Raziks observation that OMR lacked spaces where people could simply sit down and be themselves. Everything (around OMR) felt either too commercial, too loud, or too superficial. We wanted to build a space that felt like a home: warm, curated, and real, he says. Chennai's Secret Strangers Club These gatherings are usually held at a members house, with no more than 15 strangers in one room. We dont disclose venues, members, or activities. Entry is by approval only, he says. On screening the guests, he says, We look for respectful behaviour, social compatibility, and genuine interest in our experiences. A lot of our community grows through word of mouth, but even referrals go through approval. The result is a room where conversation becomes the centrepiece. Our themes focus on freedom, connection, and storytelling, Razik says. To him, the appeal of these gatherings reflects the emotional needs of this generation. People crave authenticity In a world full of digital noise, intimate offline moments feel rare and meaningful. Riyaz, a digital marketer, attended one of their gatherings and found it freeing. Its a fun, open-minded group where you can be yourself, he says. Beyond the experience, he says the event expanded his social circle in ways he did not expect. Although each space takes a different form and tone, both point to the same shift: young adults are seeking social lives that feel intentional, not incidental.While Razik hopes to create a culture where people feel free to connect without judgement, Ganesh dreams of growing his initiative to other cities but keeping the essence selectively curated. Together, they reflect a quiet evolution in the citys social identity. For a generation searching for depth and comfort, these secret circles are offering exactly what mainstream spaces never quite managed: a community that feels real, safe, and chosen.